sleigh bells

i went to a concert.

like, i stood in a crowded room for a long time surrounded by loud people who i did not know and waited for i-don't-know-how-long for a lady/girl (?) to come on stage and scream into the microphone while she whipped her head back and forth.

i went to that concert.

honestly, even though i felt really out of place because i was the only one without an iphone and i felt a strong urge to plug my ears a couple of times, i wasn't the worst off.  there was a lady that had bling on her jeans and a puffy white zip up vest on. she looked a lot more uncomfortable than i felt and would have been a lot better off hanging out at the olive garden or gracie's.  i can say that because i've been partying a lot this year.  twice already, i've gone out on the town.  one of those times was to gracie's where the lady with the bling on her jeans would have fit right in.  

it's not that it wasn't fun.  being out is always nice.  it's just that i prefer going to places where i can hear what you're saying without you having to scream into my ear while invading my personal space.  i also am not super fond of other peoples sweat or the moment someone says "let's go out to the patio" hoping for some fresh air only to be greeted by a thick cloud of cigarette smoke.

i'm too old for this kind of fun.  this is a fact but, i would be lying if i said there was once a time when i enjoyed this sort of thing.  my brother j-dog knows this too and i'm beginning to believe that when he bought the tickets to give to the husband for his 30th birthday, there was a small part of him that was really looking forward to watching me stand in that crowd.  he likes to see me squirm just as much as he likes to see my husband happy.  the husband likes concerts. 

his like of concerts is ironic really.  somehow, he's incapable of tolerating his own children's screeching and screaming but he'll volunteer himself to listen to a grown woman do the same into a microphone at decibels so high, it should be illegal.  

hey! i just had an idea!  maybe if i put a loud, thumping beat in the background, he'll start to hear the noise from the kids in a whole new way?  nah ....

for those of you who are more like myself and less like my husband/brother, let me give you a few pointers on how to not stand out like a sore thumb when you go see Sleigh Bells in concert:

#1 wear black but don't ask the host for a lint brush during your visit

#2 when he says "come over at 8:00," show up at 9:00

#3 hold a drink in your hand so no one will ask you if you want a drink

#4 when the tickets say the concert starts at 9:00, that means it starts at 11:00

#5 if your moves are anything like the guys dancing in front of us, just stand still

#6 don't go out to the patio unless you're going to smoke

#7 if you can't hear what they're saying, just nod your head 'yes' whilst smiling.  they won't remember any of it tomorrow anyway

#9 don't admit you're the mother of three unless you want to be treated like the mother of three

#10 even though it was the coolest vacuum you've ever seen, contain your excitement.  they are more interested in the brand of your boots and no, these are not steve madden's, they're straight from kohls

p.s.  i really did have fun.  even though it meant i was too tired to get up and run the next day.

p.p.s. i didn't get any photographs of josh.  he was too busy grinding with his girlfriend or whatever it was they were doing.

xoxo