when life gives you lemons ...

{don't ask}

and it does.  from time to time, all you get are lemons.  i actually really dislike the whole "make lemonade" solution to the handful of lemons we're given.  sometimes, there's just not enough sugar.  

the children in this home are focused heavily on the fairness of all things as i believe most children are.  no matter how often i say "it doesn't matter" or, "life's not always fair,"  they still get upset if their slice of cake is even just a tiny bit smaller than the next persons.  

dear child, in order to experience the fair bits, you have to take your share of the unfair bits.  i try to remember this but even for me, it really isn't that simple.  even for me, as a grown woman who tries her darndest to understand the why's of all the unfair bits,  i struggle to not say to myself "it's just not fair."

as it was yesterday evening when i wanted so badly to fall asleep.  all i could do was lay in my bed, tossing and turning, physically ill from the news the day had brought.  questioning the fairness of it all.  

one particular bit of news is found here, about the cyclist in draper who was hit by a truck yesterday. although i didn't really know her personally, we went to high school together and i do know that she was a beautiful woman who had a great deal of living left to do. she passed away this morning leaving behind two very young little girls who will never know what it feels like to be loved and hugged by their mother.  there is not a word in the dictionary to justly describe the tragic and devastating loss this family has experienced.

i know many are comforted with their beliefs that this woman has moved on to a better place.  that she will watch over her children from that place and that her family will eventually find a way to make peace with their loss.  

i don't know about all of that.  these are moments when, for many, faith steps in and reason is pushed aside.   these are moments, for me, when i struggle the most.  these are moments when i question the most.  the unfairness is surreal, there is no justification for such things.  but, what i do know is that sometimes, it's okay to not understand.  

i know that life is fleeting and the lemons we're given leave us with the potential to become increasingly more cynical and bitter about the ways and the whys of the world.  life is filled with intense and stressful moments that test our character and push us to the edge.  when the fog is dense, sometimes all we can do is wait for the storm to pass.  

i believe in time and in what time does best which is to pass and help clear the storm.  i'm left feeling grateful for all the beauty in my world.  cherishing every smile and taking advantage of every moment i am able to share my love with those who are so dear to my heart.  i believe that life is precious and that raw emotion is potent.  i believe the good bits help to make the bad bits more bearable. 

i hope that there is a small amount of truth in all that i believe.

and, i hope that you have many things to smile about.