ten how to steps :: rescuing a salamander

step one ::  locate salamander needing rescuing

step two :: squeal and shudder while dropping to your knees in order to ensure your children will develop an unnecessary fear of harmless amphibians

step three ::  put on proper "salamander rescuing" footwear

step four :: admire loving husbands $3 BIGLots sweat shorts and boots, "the justin's"

step six :: watch in horror as the love of your life jumps into the abyss

step seven :: squeal and shudder more as your young child admires the "muscly and slimy" no-it-cannot-be-our-pet-salamander, salamander

step seven :: photograph memorable father and son moment while admiring your husbands salamander rescuing attire once more

step eight :: wonder why they want to keep looking at it

 step nine :: wonder with increasing angst how much longer they'll admire it as it sits in a shallow bucket in the HALLWAY OF YOUR HOUSE!

step ten :: refuse to discuss the drop off location or future of the rescued salamander and then  ... demand a pumpkin shake upon their return for recovery.

the end