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perfectionism = procrastination = paralysis


is there a social pressure to be perfect? do you feel it? the perfect wife, the perfect mother, daughter, sister, friend. i raise my hand. i feel like everywhere i go .. there are people all around me doing it all so much better, i can't seem to keep up.

i'm not complaining. really. i'm just wondering if i'm too sensitive and i'm sincerely asking for your thoughts. even if you read and don't usually comment. comment anonymously if you must. do you feel pressure to do it all and to do it all perfectly? how do you deal with it? how do you keep up or decide not to try?



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Amy Piller said…
I totally understand what you are saying. I am always looking at people and asking myself why I can't do things the way they do or why I am not as creative as they are. Actually to tell you the truth just yesterday I looked at your blog and thought to myself, "why can't I write like that". I am not sure how to over come this obviously since I still do it but I think we all need to learn not to compare ourselves to someone else my guess is they are thinking the same thing back to you about something you do!
January 9, 2009 at 12:41 PM
Unknown said…
I so agree with you. we are told we have to have the pefect house, body, car, income, kids, husband. I deal with it in the thinking that we don't live in a perfect world and if you don't like me for who i am or you can't accept me for me then I don't need you in my life. Personally I think you are an amazing person and have some wonderful talents and that is what makes you you.
January 9, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Alayna said…
I obviously am not a wife and a mother, but that is something I feel pressured to become...or looked down on because I am not. I think it is just a feminine trait that we all acquire and experience OFTEN. I too agree with Amy's comment, I totally compare myself to you when it comes to blogging. I WISH I could have brilliant things to say like you do. I guess we all just need to realize that no matter what the world shows us, there is always someone who has it worse than us. Not everyone who appears to be perfect truly is...
January 9, 2009 at 1:23 PM
Kristin said…
Emily, you are perfect just the way you are. I'm betting that the people who are important in your life think so too. All that matters is what those individuals think anyway. If anyone else is busy looking down on you for something and making you feel inferior then they obviously have way too much time on their hands and should get a life. Your husband and children adore you and you are a spectacular friend. It doesn't get better than that:)
January 9, 2009 at 2:39 PM
Haily Brian said…
I am with you on that one. I hate felling like that. I just had this conversasion with my husband this morning. It was about my lovely stretch marks. I care that they are there way more than he does. I haven't figured out yet what the secret is to not feel like we have to be perfect, but running helps me and eating.
You guys look like you had a great Christmas.
Oh, I looked up the highschool blog and I felt depressed the rest of the night, Thanks a lot. Just kidding, but I remembered how not cool I was. It was good to see a couple faces. I can't believe it's been ten years!
January 9, 2009 at 3:02 PM
Marianne and Matt said…
I was thinking the other day about a talk we had when we worked at good ol' Healthsouth. We both said we would never let our childrens hair be out of control. You said your girls hair would always be done up nicely. I agreed with you. Now I have twins and I have let everything go:) You on the the other hand look like you have everything under control. You children always look well dressed with beautiful hair. I think you should give yourself WAY more credit for EVERYTHING you are doing so right!! By the way, I love your blog!!
January 9, 2009 at 6:19 PM
Scottkids said…
I understand the expectations you feel. I also believe it is a Utah thing. Sure, it is everywhere, but Utah is out of control. When I first moved here, I got ready less than I do now, and I started feeling out of place. Like I always had to be "ready", and have my hair done, and look nice. Everyone here always looked perfect. I see people trying to live these perfect lives. I see right through it though. Most people hide alot, and are not honest. Afraid of being vulnerable. Not perfect.Sometimes I feel the pressure. Then I remind myself that I would rather be "REAL" and when other women decide they want to be real, they know they can be "REAL" with me.

I think you are such a lovely person! So... "REAL" actually. I want you to know I appreciate it!
January 11, 2009 at 1:17 AM
Mrs. JM said…
i appreciate all of your responses so much .. thank you. i just opened my most recent issue of women's health magazine and there's a story on the "alpha-wife" with tips on how to overcome the pressure to be one. i look forward to reading it :).

i do think other people's opinions of me are important but i need to care less about the opinions of those people who really don't matter and listen to my friends .. those of you who are "real."

and haily, i'll try to take your advice and go for a run every now and then. heaven knows i need it. oh and the stretch marks, don't even talk to me about stretch marks! they are worth it though and i know this.

love!
January 11, 2009 at 6:10 PM
Jess said…
Em, there is absolutely pressure for those things. One thing I try to remember, though, is that we compare our insides with other people's outsides. I assume that people are like me and are too proud to let their weakness show on the outside.

You have your priorities right [hubby, kids] so the rest is just details :)
January 11, 2009 at 7:28 PM
Linda said…
You are the wife of my son and the mother of my grandchildren and I love everythin gyou do and are at this very moment. I count you as a blessing. Really!
January 11, 2009 at 9:02 PM
Kim Hendry said…
I am actually striving for "imperfection"...I do that perfectly! :)

By the way, you are perfect to me! Or at least as close as you can get!
January 12, 2009 at 11:33 PM
Rachel Ure said…
i try to give myself as much slack as possible. Instead of focusing on my AWeful cooking skills and lack of cooking passion, i focus on the fact that at least my kids don't eat much junk food. instead of focusing on the fact that my house in never really clean and my kids usually look slobby, i focus on the fact that I do get them out of the house to do fun things ( looking shabby and all)
Somehow we all have to get over all the guilt- because it eats us alive and it doesn't inspire us to do great things it makes us feel lazier and worse!
We all love to hear that so and so's kid watches 6 hours of tv a day and won't eat anything but french fries because it makes us feel better about our own situation. but heres the truth - every mom tries and has good intentions, some kids make their parents look good some make there parents look like crap- but we all just need encouragement and the benefit of the doubt.
January 15, 2009 at 3:45 PM
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