beauty full

today she came to me to ask that i turn on her radio so her and her friend could "rock out" while they were playing in her room.

i feel like i've aged 10 years in the last 12 months. my children watch me do aerobics in front of the tv and laugh. i curse every time i go to grab a cracker or cereal and the box was put back empty. i never stop doing laundry. we're always out of milk when i want a glass. she tells me how pretty i look when i put on makeup and asks where we're going today as if an important outing is the only justification for looking nice. as if. every 20 minutes the doorbell rings with another friend wanting to play. whenever i sit down for a moment to daydream i'm interrupted with a "snap this" "button please" "tie my shoes" "can i have a snack?" and on and on. they ask me a question, i answer and they say "what?" i answer again and they say "what?" then i flip out and snap the answer and they look at me like i'm insane. i've become my mother. i remember witnessing all these same things with my mom as a child and wondering why it was such a big deal that i got a snack right after she cleaned the kitchen or walked on the carpet after she vacuumed or dumped a pile of laundry in the laundry room right after she finished the last load. knowing she made it through this keeps me going every day. seeing this picture of my daughter brings on emotions that i could never adequately put into words. it's all worth it.