i want to show you ...

we spent saturday at the cabin with jake's family and in the evening we took a two hour hike up the mountain. when i'm in the mood i'll post all the pictures and maybe even write something entertaining for my dear friend in tennessee to enjoy but for now i want to show you something.

nat took at picture of jake and i at the top. i was uploading a few from our weekend to facebook just now and this picture she took reminded me of another picture from last year when we took the kids four wheeling in east canyon.

i would have never posted this picture last year but i've lost 36 pounds since last summer. i've worked super hard, i'm proud of myself and i'm convincing myself that there's nothing wrong with saying so.

i try really hard not to focus on the pounds or the size of my pants. i try really hard not to talk about my efforts or my results with people. i have been trying really hard to make it about a lifestyle that i want to be my own. for me. and so .. i haven't felt it was appropriate or necessary to say anything here on my blog. but, as i get closer to my goal weight i find that my motivation is lacking just a little. i fit in all the clothes that i hoped to fit in to. i feel awesome but i need to keep going. i need to stay motivated so that i can continue to make it not about the number on the scale or the size of my pants.

i only have one chance at living a healthy life. i only have one chance to teach my kids healthy habits and be an example to them. i feel so grateful for my body and all it is capable of.

"i have a perfect body but sometimes i forget. i have a perfect body because my eyelashes catch my sweat...."

~regina spektor