dear children

i feel loads of disappointment in the lack of time available to me as of late for my blogging hobby. even now, i have only 10.2 seconds to share a little of our lives here.

spring has sprung and i think it is an exceptional time of year for so many reasons. first .. my birthday, hollar! and now, baby's too. i love the sun shining just a little bit longer every day, the smell of lilac and listening to the birds outside. valentine's has come and gone, st. patrick's day too and now we're counting down until easter but i remind you children every day that it will be my birthday first, so don't get too excited just yet.

C, after this week you will go off track again for another three weeks. you celebrated your 100th day of kindergarten a few weeks ago and for some reason this gave you the impression that you are now in the first grade. we've had the argument several times but i'm not confident that you believe that you're still in kindergarten and i fear you might be a bit disappointed when you start first grade this summer ... again.

the wrestling season ended on st. patrick's day. you weren't as enthusiastic at your last meet as you were at your first. it seemed you'd grown tired of it so quickly and were more concerned about what was going on all around you rather than focusing on the task at hand. this frustrated your dad just a little ... i am constantly reminding him that you're barely six and to chill out. you're not interested in listening to his tips and advice as he shouts them from the sidelines. you're focus is usually on your opponents coach yelling from the opposite side of the mat. i am very proud of your progress this year but i admit, i am glad to be done with it for now.

this is your last match at mine and dads alma mater.

baseball starts soon which you're very excited about. you get to be on the same team as your good friend brennan and this year i've volunteered to be the team mom while dad will be your coach along with brennan's dad. this will be your last year as a rookie ... next year you move up the pee wee league which sounds small but it's not.

i'm amazed at how well you're reading. i believe that you are a very smart boy. we've had parent teacher conferences again and you received all good marks just as you should. i am proud of your hard work.

we learned this month that the enamel on your teeth was not properly formed as you grew from infancy. i'm not really sure what this means but apparently your teeth are weak, you grind them in your sleep and you've had to have at least three small cavities filled and a cap on one of your molars. you were terribly nervous about getting the work done and requested that grandma julie be in the room with you. i was nervous you were going to be a complete wreck and was glad to not sit through it with you. but, you weren't, you were incredibly brave and said afterward "it wasn't that bad mom" ... thank goodness for laughing gas, for grandmas and the coolness that is the dental barn.

i thought it might be cool to grow your hair out. i don't know why. i see all the kids round' town with long hair and you think you're a skateboarder . ... this i know because you will only wear shoes if i tell you they are skate shoes. ... i forgot that you were born with a very large head full with thick hair just like your dad and honestly, you looked ridiculous. so, we cut it. we cut gavin's too and dad's ... we even shaved off the animal growing on dads face and you didn't like the result one bit. you said he looked funny, like in the pictures when we got married and i realized i've never seen my own dad without a beard. i don't think dad loved it either ... it's only been a little over a week and he's already started on the new beard.

before

after

my handsome boys

baby, your first hair cut was more like a hairs cut. you had a couple long hairs growing over your left ear so we just trimmed things up a bit for increased cutness.

here are your hairs before

and here you are all spiffed up after. sitting on the stool was super exciting to you.

you're not really crawling yet. you have your own little way of getting around though. it started as a ridiculous scoot with a twist on your bum and then somehow you managed to speed up the process and you've become a scooting machine.

i'm reminded that your brother or sister never actually crawled on their hands and knees either. c had an impressive little army scoot he did on his tummy and b moved around on her behind just like you do. weird.

have i told you that grandpa is your favorite person in the entire world? oh, and does he ever love you .... it's fun for me to see.

yes, you're wearing an old navy 2004 st. patty's shirt. so what? i'm being frugal and getting pretty good at it too.

you're finally standing. seems like not such a great accomplishment but it was only weeks ago that you wouldn't even put weight on your legs so i'm relieved at the progress you're making and will stop worrying about whether or not your physical development is delayed for some reason. see, here you are, standing like a big boy in the tuxedo grandma bought you for jon and natalie's wedding. we had to try it on. it only took about thirty minutes to put on. it's sized 18 to 24 months and yes, you're not even 12 months old yet but you're huge. i was barely able to get the vest buttoned over your strong abs and forget about fastening the sleeves around your wrists. don't you look just smashing?

sis, i try really hard to not label you but you're so darn clumsy. the past few weeks have been difficult for you and it's sad to watch. of course we all know about your broken nose and after three weeks we were finally able to get it fixed.

i'm always amazed at my children and the way you internalize things. the day before the surgery you weren't really nervous, you didn't ask a lot of questions or seem to be too concerned about the fact that you were going to the hospital and they were going to make you go to sleep. i told you that you might hurt a little when you wake up and even that didn't bother you. it was no big deal that we had to wake at the crack of dawn to get there or that you would have to lay in bed for a few days but when you found out that you couldn't have breakfast that morning, i thought you might have an emotional breakdown. the news got even worse when i told you your brothers would be spending the night at grandma julie's without you ... "that's not fair that they get to wake up and a good breakfast will be going .."

neither of us slept a wink the night before the surgery and i was terribly anxious waiting for you to get out of surgery and wake up. before they took you in they gave you a little something to calm you down. it was crazy how goofy you were acting, laughing at every person who walked into the room, slurring your words and hardly able to keep your head up. one of the nurses tried to make the process fun by checking your bunny's heart beat and you looked at him like he was crazy and laughed "she doesn't even have a heart ...." they rolled you away in a wagon and dad and i could hear you laughing all the way down the hall.

when you woke up you cried and this was hard to watch. they'd given you demerol for pain which made you terribly itchy. sitting there holding you while you slept was an interesting experience. i'm not really sure how to explain it. i'm a mom every day, all day long. i fix things and help you with things and can usually make things better. i've taken care of you before when you're sick but watching you be uncomfortable this time made me feel so helpless. i would have taken your place in a second and i wanted to badly. the intense desire to fix everything made me really feel like a mother. maybe that doesn't make sense because i am a mother but my motherly instincts have never felt so strong. not even pregnancy or childbirth left me with such a strong urge to protect and love. i was happy to cater to your every need and i could see how much you felt loved and how well you are able to share your love with someone else ...

you've spent a good number of days coloring in my bed. it is difficult to keep you away from the other kids but we cannot risk you getting bumped or accidentally hit in the face. you've watched a lot of movies and one time i tried to sneak a little nap in with you and you told me that i couldn't take a nap because i have children to take care of ...

your cast comes off tomorrow. two days too late ... yesterday you had pictures for dance and you looked so beautiful with your make up and your hair done up and this lovely cast on your nose. memories, like the corner of my mind. luckily though, you will be all nice and healed in time for the wedding. the wedding is jon's wedding and/or trav's wedding that you never stop talking about. what are you going to wear? how are you going to do your hair? when are we going to go get you some shoes? what jewelry am i going to wear? ... we spent a day with grandma julie and lindsay looking at dresses and you soaked up every second being with the girls. you were concerned when your uncles met us for lunch ... it was girl day ... and you would not let us purchase a cupcake or a cookie from the bakery to take home to dad and c ... it was girls day ... and you're all girl ....