please slow it down

white daisy passing

rocky votolato

please slow it down

there's a secret magic past world

that you only notice when you're looking back at it

and all i wanna do is turn around

i'm going to sleep on the bottom of the ocean

cause i couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun

passing white daisies, taking turns

close the door walk to the street

catching raindrops on your tongue

and for a minute it all stops

but it won't last man, just a passing moment gone

please slow it down

there's a secret place that i know

if i could dig a grave

i'd then climb underground for good

and all i wanna do is turn around

i'm going down to sleep on the bottom of the ocean

cause i couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun

passing white daisies, taking turns

all those evenings on the back deck of our first apartment

they meant everything but the wind just carried them off

and you can't go back now, just a passing moment gone

please slow it down

there's a secret magic past world

that you only notice when you're looking back at it

and all i wanna do is turn around

i'm going down to sleep at the bottom of the ocean

cause i couldn't let go when the water hit the setting sun

cause i couldn't let go of the passing moment gone

no, i'm not suicidal. i just really like this song. google it. i know you'll like it too. i happened to really listen to it today and it touched me. it is hard to let go of those things, moments, memories that make you feel grounded and secure. change is scary and change is hard but change is very necessary.

i felt sick to my stomach to read this morning that the cfo of freddie mac committed suicide today. i guess he could no longer handle the stress and pressure of the changes in his life.

everything is moving so quickly.

i even found myself in a race at the drive-thru at wendy's today. they are always so fast at this particular wendy's .. usually there's a hand hanging out the window with my order before i even pull up to pay. they barely let you finish your sentence when you order and i feel serious anxiety while digging for my method of payment in my purse while they're trying to hand me four drinks at once through the window. i was determined today to beat them at their own game. i had everything prepared right when i pulled up, no break in my sentence while ordering, impressively answering their questions before they were asked. i floored it from the speaker to the second window and had my cash in hand before they even opened the window. i'm competitive, mostly with myself, and i felt like a superstar when i pulled away.

i find myself constantly thinking what is the rush? why is everyone so impatient? that question may seem funny to you coming from me because yes, i can be impatient but i like to think i'm impatient with stupidity and laziness, not with life moments in general. appreciating the small things has become {nearly} second nature to me and of this i am proud. i don't find myself getting ruffled over things that don't matter. it's easier for me to appreciate the perspective of people {minus those who are stupid and/or lazy} and i'm enjoying learning new things from many different people. i take great pleasure in feeling the breeze through an open window and no longer feel guilty for reading all day on sunday instead of doing laundry or scouring the toilets. i've even made it through several nights of continuous screaming from one kid or another for one reason or another without feeling even the slightest raise in my blood pressure.

husband is working a lot of side jobs lately, which we need him to do, but he must be so tired.

he's amazing. have i told you this? recently he was informed of some changes in pay from his employer. changes that will not benefit him and that will have a decent impact on our already not-so-great financial situation. but, he still has a job and for that we are grateful. he keeps his head up. somehow. he busts his ass and works hard everyday no matter what and for this, i am proud that he is my husband. he doesn't need to be reminded of the big picture and together we appreciate the moments when we can slow it down and just be. together. making it through. together. slowing it down. together.