dear children

to my dear son c: imagine the unimaginable ... the other day, I made you clean your room! i know. the audacity! i later came down the stairs to find a note from you which seems to be your newly found way of communicating your feelings to me...



at first, i was sort of proud that you thought it through so well, you knew exactly where to put it so i would find it and i had no idea you were learning how to write so well! but then i was sort of disturbed by the cut up picture of yourself so i wrote you back ..

like always, you had to have the last word ...

you're such a sweet boy with so much energy and imagination. you walk by the beat of your own drum and you decide when you're ready to do something. everything is an adventure with you which can get you into trouble at times. although we often but heads, you always find a way to make me smile. i hope that i can do the same for you.

i love you buddy, mom

my dearest daughter, you're four now so i decided it was time you started doing your own makeup, i'm tired of having to do it for you everyday. here you are, modeling your work ..

hot, right? a lot of people gave you makeup for your birthday and i'm still not sure why. i thought i might be able to pin it down to those who don't have kids, specifically 4 year old girls but someone with a four year old girl gave you make-up. all i can come up with is either that four year old girls mom doesn't really like me very much or she's just cooler than i am.

you still highly anticipate tuesdays at 4:45 when you get to go to dance with your dear friend berkley. we've started carpooling which makes the event even that much more exciting and sometimes, the excitement turns you into a devil child. on a recent tuesday, your behavior was terrible all day long. so bad, in fact, i came very close to not taking you to dance at all but you begged and pleaded and promised to be on your best behavior so i gave in (the fact that dance costs money helped with that decision). that day you wore the one dance outfit that i spent a ridiculous amount of money on because it was so darn cute. this is the type of tutu that must be washed on the gentle cycle and not very often. after dance, you came inside with dirt all over the tutu and i got upset. the rule is that you come right in and change back into your regular clothes which you abide by faithfully every week. i'm still not sure how you managed to get a big smear of mud on it during the 2.5 seconds it takes to walk from the garage to the house but you did. our conversation went like this:

me: i would love to spank your bum because you've been so naughty today

you threw your head back and laughed as you were walking up the stairs to your room: mommy, you won't do that, i'm your children and there was a girl at dance today who showed her underpants and that's not very ladyish now is it?

i'm not really sure what being "ladyish" had to do with anything but it was obviously your attempt to distract me from being mad by making me see that you're listening to me when i tell you something is not "lady-like." sometimes, you leave me speechless.




luv, mama


my sweet baby boy, the last week has been miserable. you have had the yuckiest stomach bug and are just now showing signs of improvement. we had some very disgusting moments together this week, the kind that proves the love from a mother is unconditional and that also proved you are the best little baby on the planet because you hardly complained at all and i would have been in a ball on the bathroom floor crying like a normal baby if i had to go through even a fraction of what you must have been feeling.

i realize it's weird for me to wish you to not grow up. it would be a really horrible medical problem if you didn't but i just don't want you to get bigger. people keep asking if you have any teeth yet, "he must be teething" is what i get every time you cry and all i can think is that i don't want you to get teeth yet. please don't resent me for not cheering at each of your "firsts" ... i've done that before for your brother and sister but this time, you're "firsts" feel like my "lasts" and i'm holding onto your infancy for dear life. once that tooth pushes through and once you sit on your own for longer than 30 seconds without toppling over, you're no longer an infant.

you're just so perfect in every way. you bring so much joy into my life i can only attempt to describe. so much so that you've been able to unknowingly convince me that i can handle pregnancy and childbirth and the stress of more children over and over again. maybe when you start throwing your food and telling me "no" and having tantrums in the grocery store i might come back to reality and remember that i'm not any good at being pregnant and small children (so far, specifically 3 to 5 year olds) drive me crazy.

your brother and sister adore you too and for that i feel very lucky.

love always, mommy